Resolutions in March

“I think I should give up procrastinating.” I declared to my husband.

“Right now?” he asked. “What bought that up?”

“I’m making my New Years Resolutions.”

Ummm…..isn’t it March?”

“Oh. I’ve been playing FreeCell.”

“I thought I hadn’t heard you talking to yourself as much. Do you think you should also give up peanut M&Ms? Or FreeCell?”

“Ummm….maybe tomorrow.”

I hate New Years Resolutions. It’s not just that they ask you to give up something you like….although….that’s a rather large part of it. No. It’s that they are really, really boring.

Does anyone ever have any new or unique resolutions? I mean, how many times can you write about dieting?

“Umm….I think you have probably gotten about 50 articles so far….”

“Stop eavesdropping while I am talking to myself!”

“Diet. Exercise. Become more organized. Clean up the room of no return. Listen to the sermon in church. Finish the knitted blanket you started 5 years ago. Eat the broccoli before it wilts in the vegetable bin. Or just give it up broccoli and fill the vegetable bin with peanut M&Ms. I mean, everyone every year has the same old boring resolutions.”

“I agree that you should stop buying broccoli.” my husband replied mildly. “Maybe you should learn to change Abel’s diaper by yourself. Or put his car seat in.”

“Ummm….maybe tomorrow.”

“So are you going anywhere with this?”

“I don’t know, I think I still have another whole page to write.”

“What resolutions articles did you write in the past? Did you keep any of them?”

“Please stop trying to be helpful.”

“Maybe you should have given something up for Lent.”

“Hmmm….Lent isn’t near as long as a whole year.”

“But you have to give something up.”

“Yeah. I knew there had to be a catch.”

“You’d be giving it up for God. As an article of faith.”

“You mean, I would have God on my back as well as you?”

“How far away is Lent?”

“Ummm….actually we’re already in the middle of it.”

“Oh! So I’d have to wait a year to start?”

“I don’t like where this is going.”

“And first.” I added happily “We would have to do Mardi Gras. Because otherwise, what is the point of Lent? I mean, its contrast that makes the world go round.”

“Well, that’s true.” my husband contributed. “Mardi Gras involves elaborate costumes, feasting, wild parties, beads for reasons we can’t discuss, and moon-pies. It’s only after you have completed all that, that you give up something pleasurable.”

“Hmmm.” I mused. “Our daughter-in-law is good at costumes, and sewing. And pies of course. And Tracy is a great cook! We could do this! Yes! I’ll call them tomorrow.”

“Lov, we already missed Mardi Gras.”

“Yeah, so they’ll agree to it, thinking it won’t be until next year.”

“Then you have to give something up.” he pointed out.

“Yeah.” I mused. “But its not till next March.”